How to Talk Like Gollum

Опубликовал Admin
27-09-2016, 12:25
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Ever wanted to talk like nasty little usss from Lord of the Rings? This is an article for you, is it, precious? Yes.

The Voice: Method 1

  1. Imagine that you have a furball in your throat.
  2. Wobble your neck.
  3. Constrict your voice.
  4. Talk through your constricted voice.

The Voice: Method 2

  1. Bring the very back of your tongue to touch the roof of your mouth.
  2. Talk with this form.

Extra Details

  1. Do a lot of hissing.
  2. Breathe in rasps, as if the air is choking you.
  3. Say Gollum like a cough you cannot control.

The Speech

  1. Change personalities between Gollum and Sméagol quite often.
  2. Have conversations (arguments) about what course to take between the two personalities.
    • Gollum Personality: "Kill them. We hates them!"
    • Sméagol Personality: "We mustn't hurt master! We mustn't!"
  3. Refer to yourself in plural, third-person.
  4. Randomly add "es" or "ses" at the end of words:
    • "We kills the hobbitses"
  5. Randomly add a hissing "ssss" between words and in words
    • We hate the nasty hobbitses. Sssssss."

Tips

  • Be hydrated. It's more difficult to perform the voice with a dry throat.
  • Watch the Lord of the Rings movies and copy Gollum when he is talking.
  • Drink herbal tea to help soothe your throat afterwards.

Warnings

  • Do not speak like Gollum for excessive amounts of time. Doing strains your vocal chords.
  • People may find you very annoying if you do this a lot.
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