How to Teach Your Children Optimism

Опубликовал Admin
28-09-2016, 00:45
585
0
Optimism is an important element to happiness, health, and success. Optimism can help your child succeed academically and athletically. However, some kids are naturally more optimistic than others, and it can be hard for some children to see the bright side of things. Help your child to experience more optimism by shaping their experiences more positively and by encouraging different thinking.

Building Optimistic Habits

  1. Focus on positives. Humans tend to be hardwired to notice and remember the negatives more often than the positive things. Teach your child to balance this tendency by intentionally steering them toward noticing positive things. Ask your child, “What made you smile today?” Start a journal with your child in which they write down the good things that happened that day, and share it before they go to bed.
    • Go on happiness scavenger hunt and point out things that bring happiness and joy. Perhaps your child sees a flower or a cloud that they like or picks up a neat stone.
  2. Make a game of seeing positives in negative situations. If your child is upset about something, practice finding something positive in the situation. Help your child to see things from a more positive perspective, then ask your child to come up with a bright side.
    • For example, if your child is sick and has to stay home from school, look at the positives of staying in their pajamas or getting to watch television during the day.
  3. Engage in problem-solving. If your child is having a problem, allow them space to do some problem solving. For example, if your child is being bullied at school, ask your child if they have any ideas of what to do. You may want to jump in and solve the problem for your child, but give your child some time to think about solutions. This can help to empower your child.
    • For example, if your child is struggling to write an essay, say, “What do you think could help you?” You may want to give some examples if your child is unsure, such as taking a break or finding some new resources.

Using Optimistic Parenting Skills

  1. Use positive reframing. Be optimistic in your parenting style to help your child approach situations more positively. For example, instead of saying, “You don’t allow enough time to get ready in the morning and that’s why you’re always late,” say, “I’ve noticed that when you get up early and give yourself time in the morning, you seem to get off to school no problem.”
    • If your child has left a mess yet again, say, “It can be nice to have a clean space so that you have room to do the things you enjoy.”
  2. Talk about overcoming difficulties. Part of optimism is facing difficult situations and feeling like they can be overcome. Relate to your own child’s experience by telling something about your own life. If your child struggles with math, say, “You know, I had a hard time with math when I was in school, too. I remember it being really hard. Then I realized that I could do it, it just took some practice, and I’d have to work extra hard.”
    • You can also use examples from movies such as “The Karate Kid” or “The Lion King.”
  3. Eliminate your own negative self-talk. If you catch yourself saying, “I’m such a…” statements, know that your children are listening and hear you put yourself down. You may notice your children saying similar things and begin to discourage themselves with negative talk! If you put yourself down, start adjusting your own vocabulary.
    • For example, if you say, “I’m so clumsy!” or, “I’m just a bad cook,” stop or adjust these statements. You can say instead, “Sometimes I don’t watch where I’m going” or “I’m still learning to make good meals for dinner.”

Responding to Negativity and Disappointments

  1. Handle situations calmly. If your child is upset about a low grade, don’t upset them further by getting angry or upset about the failure. Instead, handle the situation calmly. Consider your child’s feelings and use the moment to help your child reflect on the experience. Even if you are disappointed, respond optimistically to your child.
    • For example, say, “I know you’re upset about your spelling test. You’ve done well in the past, and I bet you’ll do great again. This was just a low week.”
  2. Remember that setbacks are temporary. If your child experiences failure, remind them that it’s not life-changing. A bad science grade doesn’t mean that they’re bad at science, and a bad soccer game doesn’t mean they should quit soccer. If your child is frustrated with a setback or failure, remind them that it’s not forever and that they’ll be okay.
    • For example, if your child doesn’t make the team, say, “I’m sorry you didn’t make the team, I know you wanted to play. I know you are upset, but the good news is that you can try out again in one month, or you can try a different sport.”
  3. Use teachable moments. If your child is upset (“I can’t believe I did so bad on the test! I’m the dumbest kid in the class.”), listen without interruption and empathize with your child’s feelings. When your child has finished detailing their frustrations, use questions to help challenge the negative beliefs. Questions can help your child realize that they didn’t do everything wrong or that they have other chances to do better.
    • If your child is down on their soccer game or painting, ask, “What was one thing you did well?” If your child did poorly on a test, ask, “What’s thing you can do to improve for the next test?”

Creating a Success-Oriented Mindset

  1. Help your child experience success. Starting from a young age, allow your child to do things for themselves. While it may be quicker for you tie your child’s shoes or sort the laundry, have your children experience success in these tasks by doing them by themselves. You may need to guide or loosely help, but don’t do the task for them. Make sure to acknowledge their success.
    • For example, have your child put away toys, set the table, or get the mail. Then, praise your child for their success. Say, “Wow, you did it! Good job. You’re really helping the family.”
  2. Encourage your child to take risks. If your child believes that they can achieve something, they are more likely to give a new experience a chance. Every success your child experiences helps to build confidence and opens the doors to experience more success in new adventures. If your child is unsure of something, help them to reflect on past successes.
    • For example, if your child fears an entry to the science fair, ask, “What other projects have you worked on? Did they turn out okay? Why would this project be any different?”
  3. Look for future successes. If your child does something well, praise the effort that helped the child to accomplish that task. For example, if your child does well with gymnastics, say, “You trained really hard and put a lot of effort into your gymnastics. It really paid off, and as you keep working hard, you’ll continue to move up.”
    • Focus more on the effort and less on the outcome. If your child wins an award, acknowledge the reward and say, “You worked really hard and it’s nice to see how hard work turns out.”
Теги:
Information
Users of Guests are not allowed to comment this publication.