How to Treat Depression Shared by Parents and Teens

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16-09-2020, 05:30
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Depression often runs in families, which means that parents and children can both have symptoms of depression. Depression often emerges in teenage years, and it can be difficult to manage your own struggles when your teen also shows symptoms of depression. It can be challenging to share having depression with your son or daughter, yet when you find things that help, you can share those, too.

Seeking Treatment

  1. Engage in family therapy. Family dynamics can have a major influence on a person's mental health, and if both you and your teen are experiencing depression, it is important to involve the entire family in treatment. Even family members who are not depressed should participate in this therapy — part of the process may include finding new, healthier ways to communicate; learning how to support each other; identifying the strengths of each family member; understanding and working on dysfunctional relationships — all things that can be helpful to every single person in the family.
    • Family therapy is not a "quick fix" and will probably require between five and 20 sessions to be effective.
    • Family therapy has been shown to be helpful for both adults and children with depression.
    • Family therapy can greatly impact an adolescent's functioning and also increase the functioning of the family unit overall.
    • Therapy can help the family function more effectively by not labelling any person in the family as the “problem” but instead, approaching problems using the entire family to solve them.
  2. Consider different types of family therapy. Family therapy is a broad term that may use one or a combination of strategies to understand and improve the home environment. These strategies may include:
    • Structural Family Therapy — This examines the organization of the family unit and how that influences how family members interact. You will examine elements such as boundaries, hierarchies, alliances, and coalitions within the family. The therapist will help you restructure for a more functional unit.
    • Cognitive Behavioral Family Therapy — CBT focuses on unlearning harmful behaviors and patterns. The therapist will teach family members coping skills and behavior-shaping strategies such as positive and negative reinforcement. Communication skills and education (such as signs and symptoms of depression, teenage development, etc.) may also be part of CBT.
    • Strategic Family Therapy — The therapist will work with the family to develop a solution for current problems, focusing on present and future behavior, rather than what has happened in the past. Problem-solving strategies may include reframing, which asks a person to look at a problem from a different, more positive perspective.
    • Psychodynamic Family Therapy — Psychodynamic therapy examines unconscious conflicts within the family and brings them to the surface. The therapist tries to uncover any buried resentments or instances in which family members are treating and reacting to others not as themselves, but as a representative of someone important from her past. For instance, a wife might overreact to her husband not answering her question right away because her father used to ignore her, when in fact her husband was simply thinking about his answer.
  3. Encourage your teenager to get individual treatment. Be supportive and help your teenager find a therapist and make the most out of her treatment. Be on time to appointments, follow up on any assignments, and make sure she attends sessions regularly. If your teen takes medications, make sure dosing is consistent every day.
    • CBT has been shown to be extremely helpful in treating depression.
    • Encourage your teen to use coping strategies daily, like relaxation and meditation.
  4. Pursue your own individual treatment. As important as it is to take care of your teen, make sure you take care of yourself, too. Show your teen that it's okay to seek treatment for depression by engaging in your own treatment. Find a therapist and be regular to appointments. Work with your therapist to find your own coping strategies and depression triggers. Set a good example by taking any needed medications each day.
    • Show your teen that there's nothing wrong with feeling depressed, but it is important to manage the depression and treat it.
  5. Talk to a psychiatrist about medication. In addition to therapy and making lifestyle changes, medication such as antidepressants may be necessary to support your treatment for depression. Medication may resolve any chemical imbalances in your or your teen's brain and relieve some of the symptoms of depression. This can be an important step in getting better — by relieving some of your symptoms, you may be better able to make long-term changes to combat depression.
    • While your family doctor can prescribe antidepressants, work with a psychiatrist, who has extensive training and will likely be more up to date on newest research on antidepressants, their side effects, and interactions with other medications.
    • Be aware that antidepressants can actually increase suicidal feelings, especially in children and teenagers. It is important that you monitor your teenager (and yourself) when starting antidepressants or if the dose has recently changed.
    • Know that certain people are at higher risk for side effects from antidepressants, including people 65 and older, pregnant women, people with bipolar disorder, and teens or young adults.

Making Lifestyle Changes Together

  1. Do relaxation exercises together. Relaxation is a great way to manage stress and keep it from accumulating over time. Express the importance of relaxation to your teen, then find ways that you can relax together. You can even do relaxation as a family. Find activities that calm and relax you and your teen. This can include listening to music, gardening, journaling, or going for a quiet walk in the woods. Aim to find time each day to relax.
    • You can also read a book together, play with the dog, or do deep breathing exercises.
    • Meditation can be quite relaxing. Get comfortable, focus on your breathing, and let go of any thoughts that scurry across your mind. Sit peacefully for five to 10 minutes each day.
  2. Share fun activities together and as a family. Doing things that you enjoy can help combat feelings of depression. Do things that make you feel good, like playing with the dog or cooking dinner together. Include your teen in these activities and find shared activities that you both enjoy.
    • Engage in activities with your teen (or your whole family) that are enjoyable, like a weekly game night or movie night.
    • Volunteer together or with your family. Volunteering allows you to have a sense of purpose, contribute to society, connect with other people, and increase self-esteem.
  3. Exercise together. Exercise is a well-known way to treat depression, and some studies show it's just as effective as medication. While it can seem like a task just to get out of bed, having someone to exercise with helps with motivation. You don't even have to go to the gym: instead, offer to take the dog for a walk, go for a hike, or dance around the house.
    • Many gyms offer exercise classes and yoga classes.
  4. Eat nutritious food together. While there's no magic cure for depression through food, eating a balanced diet can help your overall health. If depression affects you or your teen's appetite (eating too much or too little), be aware of this and encourage healthy eating habits. Especially if you live in the same house, you can encourage eating healthy foods that support overall health.
    • Some research recommends those having symptoms of depression include omega-3 fatty acids and folic acid to help ease depression. For omega-3 fatty acids, consider adding flaxseed oil to your diet, and for folic acid, add leafy greens and beans into your diet.

Coping Emotionally with Depression

  1. Explain your depression to your teen. If your teen is struggling with depression, it can be helpful to talk about your own depression. Say what it was like to be a teenager and have depression, what helped alleviate it, and what didn't help. Relate with your teen about your own struggles and assure your teen that he is not alone.
    • Remind your teen that he can live a happy and fulfilled life, even if he struggles with depression, and that many people have overcome feelings of depression.
  2. Encourage your teen's social life. Especially if your teen has become socially withdrawn, encourage her to spend time with friends or make friends. Having an active social life is an important part of working through depression. Encourage your teen to make friends, invite them over for dinner, and go out and do fun activities together.
    • If your teen struggles to make friends, encourage her to become involved in activities at school or outside of school, such as various clubs (like chess club, drama club, or orchestra) or activities (like karate, gymnastics, sewing, or ceramics). That way, she can learn a new skill and socialize with others learning a new skill.
    • Make time to socialize with your family. Show an interest in each other and spend time socializing over shared tv shows or movies.
  3. Eliminate feelings of guilt. Depression is often passed down in families. While there is a strong genetic component in families, no child inherits depression from a parent. Children receive combinations of genes from each parent that can predispose them to certain diagnoses, like depression. Remember that guilt is a symptom of depression, and the less you self impose, the better.
    • Depression results from a number of factors, and there's no one person “responsible” for a family member's depression.
    • If you feel guilty about your son or daughter having depression when you yourself suffer from depression, remember all of the wonderful things that your teenager has received from you: a propensity for playing music, being a math whiz, or being a star athlete.
  4. Challenge negative thinking. If you notice you or your teen engaging in negative thinking, observe it and gently point it out. Negative thinking can be a part of depression that can keep you or your teen locked into feeling low. If your teen says, “I'm not good enough for the team,” or, “There's no way I can pass this class,” affirm your teen's abilities and worth, and say what is positive about the teen. The same goes for yourself: if you notice negative thoughts, turn them around.
    • Make it a family activity to affirm something positive if someone is speaking negatively of the self. For instance, if someone is complaining of a bad day, say, “It might feel like an awful day, but I wonder what positive things happened today. Can you think of some? Even having a bad day doesn't mean they will all be bad, and you were a great big sister today.”
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