How to Avoid Depression Due to Chronic Illness

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3-01-2021, 18:40
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Learning to live a full and satisfying life when you have a chronic illness can seem overwhelming. A chronic condition is a health condition, illness, or disease that is persistent or long-lasting or a disease that times time to develop. Examples can range from mild to severe or life-threatening illnesses and include conditions like allergies, asthma, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and Alzheimer's. Chronic illnesses can be managed but not cured. It really is a journey to learn to cope with the many difficult emotions that begin with the moment of diagnosis. If you are concerned that you might develop depression because of your condition, whatever it may be, then it's important that you take proactive steps to cope with your illness mentally and emotionally as well as physically.

Building Resilience

  1. Build acceptance. Though it will take time, work on accepting your illness. Denial is a dysfunctional coping method can lead to depression. Because of this, it is important to try to accept your condition. This may mean allowing yourself to feel sad and cry for a few days. Alternatively, maybe you need to be on your own for a bit. The most important part of acceptance is acknowledgment of your emotions, which is discussed in the next step. Once you accept what is happening to you, you will be able to move forward and create a more positive outlook for yourself that will help you not only avoid becoming depressed, but also increase your self-esteem and mental and physical well-being.
    • Avoid blaming yourself or others. A common thought among people with chronic illnesses is that the illness is somehow their fault or the fault of another person. You must stay away from this line of thought, however, because it can lead to ruminating, which is connected to depressive feelings. Ruminating means to letting your negative emotions replay over and over again your brain. Moreover, blaming yourself or others and trying to think how what could have happened will not change what did happen and nor will it cure your illness.
    • Part of acceptance means realizing that this condition is a part of your life NOW and that it can't be changed. Instead, you will adjust your life to cope with this new condition.
    • Know that some days you might find it harder to accept your condition than others. This is normal. What is important to remember is that these days will pass and you will find the strength to face your condition head-on the next day.
  2. Acknowledge your feelings. Depression can often manifest when feelings are not being faced, acknowledged, and managed. It's important to remember that it's okay to feel sad, angry, and confused when faced with a chronic illness. These are all major emotions that accompany living with a chronic illness. It's also important to find outlets and ways to cope with these feelings so that you do not ruminate on these emotions, which can be harmful for your mental health. In fact, chronic illness can be a catalyst to learning to accept and manage feelings successfully and without distraction.
    • Acknowledging your feelings and emotions means taking time to be mindful of them, validate them, and set them free. There is an old saying that "healing is feeling."
    • For example, perhaps you feel angry about having a chronic illness, angry that you need assistance, angry that you have to face a seemingly never-ending cycle of doctors' appointments and medications. Validate your anger by noting that it is real, that you do face real challenges that have changed your life, and that it is okay to feel angry. Then, release the anger by noting that you can't change the fact of your illness but you can change how you deal with it. Validating and releasing your anger gives you the power back, where you can be an agent of your own fate and what you do with yourself and your life.
  3. Be aware that you are more than a "sick" person. Fighting feelings of depression can start with how you view yourself. You may feel like you are just a "sick" person and that your illness now defines you. You may also feel helpless, discouraged, angry, and, ultimately, as though your whole being has been swallowed up by the reality of living with a chronic illness.
    • The first step in becoming resilient and warding off depression is to learn to view yourself as a valid human being.
  4. Remind yourself of your self-value. "YOU MATTER." This may be something that you need to repeat to yourself every single day. Regardless of any negative messages that you may receive from society, other people, and yourself about living with illness, you matter. You exist, you are here, and this is your life. In some ways, chronic illness offers a unique opportunity for a fast track to valuing yourself, who you are, and what you bring to the world (even while living with a chronic illness).
    • Try making lists of the all of the qualities about yourself that you value, special skills you have, things you are proud of, accomplishments both small and large, and so on. Keep this list handy so that if you start to feel like you are being swallowed by sadness, you can pull it out to remind yourself.
    • Notice how much of this list is still true even with or in spite of your illness. If you for example, wrote about how you successfully won a major award or earned special recognition, your illness can't change that or take it away from you. You may also want to do some research on people with chronic illnesses or disorders who have done amazing things even after they've been diagnosed, like Stephen Hawking, Helen Keller, and Beethoven, just to name a few.
  5. Take greater care with language. Language is a symbol of how we feel about and view ourselves within. Words can go a long way in keeping up a resilient identity. Instead of referring to yourself as sick, broken, ill, useless, or helpless, it can make a big difference to make simple changes in word choice and language. Re-frame such negative self-talk in positive terms that do not reduce your self-identity to your illness and all of the negative connotations that are embodied in illness, disease, and sickness. For example: "Having an illness does not define me as a person; I am merely sick, not broken"; " I'm not weak, I'm a warrior"; "I'm not dead, I'm alive today"; "I'm not useless, I have value and worth."
    • Using different words and replacing negative language with positive self-talk can help build up a resilient identity that can cope effectively with feeling of stress, sadness, and anxiety.
    • Practice everyday to refocus how you speak about yourself and illness. For example, when someone asks you how you are feeling, your first response might be: "ugh, horrible." Even if there is a kernel of truth to this statement, try reframing it in terms that acknowledge something positive about yourself, such as "Today has been really challenging so far, but I'm working through it and am still glad I got up out of bed today."
  6. Show gratitude. One of the most powerful aspects of building a resilient identity is living in gratitude. Find little moments or things to be thankful for every day of your life, even on those darkest of days when your illness seems utterly unmanageable. It can be a challenge, but finding gratitude can help you realize the fullness of your life and all of the positive aspects of that endure even as you live with a chronic illness.
    • For example, did you eat a really tasty bowl of soup today? Be grateful that you got to you eat something you enjoyed and have a moment of pleasure. Was your pain extremely difficult to cope with today? Be grateful you had the strength to get through it and that you made it through the day 'still standing', so to speak. Did a friend call or visit out of the blue? Be grateful for the companionship. Consider keeping a gratitude journal that you can write down everything you are grateful for in. The visual reminder can help show you all of the great things in your life that often seem minor or basic, but in fact really make your life amazing!
    • When dealing with chronic illness, it truly does become about living for the little things and not underestimating how a mindset of gratitude can strengthen your resilience and help stave off the spiral of despair that is depression.

Engaging in Self-Care

  1. Structure your days. Creating a plan for each day can help to keep your mind off of negative thoughts and instead focused on the future and what's next. When your days are filled with positive things that take up your time, you will have less time to dwell on your condition and feel depressed. Planning techniques that you can implement include:
    • Creating a timetable for eating and sleeping. The health of your mind in part depends on the health of your body, which can be difficult to maintain while battling a chronic illness. Eat regularly (at least three meals a day) and getting at least seven hours of sleep nightly helps your brain stay focused, be creative, and problem solve. Studies have shown that sleep deficiency can alter brain function and has been linked with depression and suicide. Keeping to an eating and sleeping schedule can aid in making sure your basic bodily needs are met and thereby boost your mental health.
    • Choose small tasks to do each day that you can work through easily and will help you to feel accomplished. This might be something like cleaning out a desk drawer, calling up an old friend, or getting your insurance plan updated. Break down large tasks, light house cleaning, into smaller ones to accommodate your physical needs while still providing you with a sense of goal completion.
    • Try to avoid large gaps of unplanned time that can turn into moments or hours of negative thoughts and rumination.
    • Always schedule time for something you enjoy, whether that be reading a few pages of a book, baking, or some light exercise. Incorporating down-time into your schedule can help remind you of the simple pleasures of life and restore your morale and contentment.
  2. Exercise. Your physical and mental health are linked in many ways. When you sit around, listless and without anything to do, you are much more likely to feel depressed. By contrast, exercise is a very important method to combat depression. When you are active, your body releases the "happy hormones" – endorphins and dopamine – that make you feel happier and boost your self-esteem.
    • Always consult with your doctor before beginning an exercise regime and talk with him about how to structure an exercise routine around your illness. For example, some chronic conditions may not enable you to run a marathon, but that doesn't mean that you have to give up on exercise entirely.
    • Instead, find a way do exercise in a way that accommodates the specifics of your chronic illness. For example, if you are in a wheelchair, you can try lifting weights or doing aerobic exercises that are specifically meant for the upper body. Some yoga studios also offer "wheelchair yoga" classes. If you have problems with your joints, swimming might be a good option.
    • There are lot of opportunities for just about anyone to get some physical activity into his daily routine! Even if you are bed-bound, doing five to ten minutes of very gentle stretching can aid in your healing, mental health, and state of mind.
  3. Do the things that you love to do. It is important to keep doing the things you love, even in the face of a chronic illness. Retaining normalcy by doing activities and projects that make you happy can act as a buffer against depression; in fact if you do thing that you love while living with chronic illness, you can redefine what your normal is so that you're not always measuring up against an old benchmark of normal life that no longer fits. Whether you love to take photos or build model airplanes, make time to do the things that make you happy and give you pleasure. You can also try new activities that you've always wanted to have a go at. Some calming but very enjoyable activities that you can try include:
    • Painting
    • Getting fresh air
    • Gardening
    • Cooking
    • Eating your favorite food
    • Taking a hot bath
    • Reading
    • Listening to music
    • Playing an instrument or singing.
  4. Take the time to help others. One of the best ways to put your own condition in perspective and to feel happier is to help out others. By bettering someone else's life, you might just recapture the joy in your own. Research has shown that individuals who volunteer tend to feel better and have higher self-esteem. It may seem paradoxical that to feel happier you should help someone else, but the science does indeed show that the feelings of social connectedness that accompany volunteering or helping others make us feel more positive about ourselves.
    • There are so many opportunities to help others in the world. Volunteer at a retirement home or a homeless shelter. Donate your time and service to a humane animal shelter. Be a Big Brother or Big Sister. Clean up a local park on a community-organized occasion. Donate or help out at a non-profit organization whose cause you believe in.
  5. Keep a journal. Journaling regularly provides you with a healthy outlet in which you can express yourself and manage your feelings. It's a helpful strategy in managing anxiety, reducing stress, and coping with negative emotions and mental conditions like depression. Journaling can also help you become more aware of your fears and concerns and give a way to express what your feeling in a non-judgement space. Airing out our feelings is key to self-care.
    • Grab a notebook, and try setting a timer and journaling even just for 10-20 minutes a day. As you get more comfortable, you may find yourself journaling for longer. Don't let yourself dictate what you "should" write; instead, write things down as they come into your head. This is called "freestyle writing."
    • Note that there is no "right way" to journal and that you don't have to share it with anyone, though that is also an option.
  6. Create a healing space. Try to create a warm, inviting, and relaxing space in your own home that you can go to to relax and get down-time when you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or depressed. Making this space can be as easy as changing the sheets on your bed, or sprinkling a calming essential oil, such as lavender or gardenia on your pillows.
    • Soft, golden lights (such as a lamps, rather than harsher overhead lights) and candles can also help you feel relaxed and create a healing ambience in your space.
  7. Engage in mindfulness practices. Mindfulness exercises are ways of paying attention to the present moment in order to help people adjust how they think and feel about their experiences. Mindfulness helps people manage and reduce stress and anxiety and often uses techniques like meditation, prayer, breathing and yoga.
    • Meditation is especially useful because it doesn't require any special physical skills or effort and because you do it anywhere and for as long as you like. Even just 20 minutes a day can reduce your stress and anxiety significantly.
    • Find a comfortable seat in a quiet place (preferably even your healing space!), put your hands in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Focus on being present and relaxed in your body, and notice every breath and small ache you feel. Work on clearing your mind of any negative or stressful thoughts; this can be the hardest part. And, most importantly: breathe. If you find your mind wandering, focus on counting your inhales and exhales. Try meditating right after you wake up or to wind down before bed.

Finding Support

  1. Educate yourself. Learn as much as you can about your condition. Part of coping effectively with your illness and warding off depression involves facing your own fears about illness and letting them go. Knowledge is something that can make you feel more powerful and in control of the situation. People are usually afraid of what they don't understand, so finding out more about your condition can help you to calm down, feel more in control, and increase your positive thoughts.
    • Remember that knowledge is power and that you feel empowered can help transcend negative thoughts and feelings.
    • Talk to your doctor—or surgeon, if applicable—about your condition and the treatment plan that you will be going through. Prepare a list of questions to ask before your appointment and go over it to make sure everything you want to know (the nature of the illness, how it progresses, symptoms, treatment, side effects, etc.) is all there.
    • Avoid doing online research on your specific illness. There is a lot of conflicting information on the internet that might heighten your fears, rather than dismantle them. That said, however, once you are more knowledgeable about the challenges you face, the internet can be a great spot to look up potential coping strategies and connect with other people suffering from the same illness across the country and the world.
  2. Find comfort in family and friends. Being around others that make you happy can have a positive effect on how you face your condition. Depression can often result from feeling lonely, so it is important to spend time the people you love. Let them know that their support means a lot to you.
    • At first you may find it difficult to tell your close friends and family about your illness and to talk to them as it progresses. You might think that you're stressing them out by telling them or that they'll judge you. However, these are totally normal feelings to have and in fact, preparing to tell people about your chronic illness is usually harder than actually telling them.
    • Keep in mind that it's important to tell those to whom you are closest and who exist in your daily life. While you might look and feel fine at first, this may not always be the case and you may need their support or help down the line. For example, if you have a medical emergency, you may need assistance, such as in the case of a seizure at home. Your family should know how to respond in case this happens.
    • Ask your friends to be specific about what they are able to do. Having a concrete support system that is clear and organized will help reduce feelings of stress, isolation, helplessness and aid you in becoming resilient to slipping into depression.
  3. Join a support group. Consider joining a support group made up of people going through the same thing that you are. Talking to people who are facing the same challenges, or who have overcome those challenges, can help you to deal with your own battle. Support groups can ease loneliness and feelings of isolation, provide perspective, help you manage your journey with chronic illness with real time advice and support offered by other people dealing with many of the same problems.
    • Ask your doctor about any support groups in the area. Many hospitals and local organizations run support groups.
    • If you are not mobile, there are online support groups that can be found online and through social media.
  4. Get a pet. Animals are one of the best sources of love and compassion. In fact, a furry friend can be the best source of support when you are facing a chronic illness. Consider getting a pet of your own to take care of and be loved by. There is nothing better than coming home to the unconditional love of an animal.
    • Pets are also natural stress reducers. Receiving affection from another being boosts your serotonin levels (which make you happy) and reduces cortisol levels (which can make you stressed).
  5. Consider therapy. Seeking therapy can be very helpful. Chronic illness is a serious life change, and it is brave to seek help if you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, cannot control your moods or do not have the motivation to care for yourself or your hygiene. Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, anger, and despair are common when living with a chronic illness, but if they begin to affect your daily functioning, then you should seek professional help. You can ask your doctor if he can recommend a therapist that specializes in helping people with chronic illnesses. Adding a therapeutic professional to your support team, whether it be a psychotherapist, psychiatrist, or a licensed mental health counselor, can boost your feelings of safety and empowerment. There are a number of therapeutic alternatives, including:
    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - This is a type of therapy that focuses on the link between your thoughts and actions—your thought patterns affect the way you act. CBT aims to help you form a more positive outlook on life and change your behaviors to reflect this new type of thinking.
    • Positive psychotherapy - This approach, as the name suggests, focuses on the positive aspects of life. It does not try to eliminate the problem straight away, but rather helps you to find the meaning in the broader sense of your life experiences. In essence, it searches for the positive side, or the 'silver lining', of everything, even circumstances that seem only negative.
    • Wellness coaching - Wellness coaching, especially if the coach is someone who lives with a chronic illness himself, can provide pragmatic and emotional education about how to live well with a chronic illness. Wellness coaching can be a pro-active, perception-changing resource that will help in all areas of living with a chronic illness, which in turn will lead to increased feelings of self-worth, value, and resilience.

Recognizing Depression

  1. Understand that all chronic illnesses are experienced differently. Chronic disease is a wide category that encompasses conditions that many people can effectively manage with lifestyle and medical treatments, such as seasonal allergies, to those that require serious medical intervention, such as cancer, heart disease, and neurological conditions. If you are able to manage your chronic illness, which is easier (though not easy) if it is a less severe disease, you will feel empowered and more in control of your life and may be thus less likely to ruminate or feel depressed.
    • That said, however, you may still feel depressed even if your illness is technically manageable and not life-threatening. Everyone is different and it's important to validate whatever you are feeling. There is no "right way" to feel when you have been diagnosed with a chronic disease, whether that be minor, mild, or severe and life-threatening.
  2. Know what the symptoms of depression are. If you are concerned that you may develop depression because you are dealing with a chronic illness, it is good to know the signs and symptoms that you should look for. If any one a number of these symptoms begin to affect your daily functioning, that is when you should consult your physician and open a discussion. Note that some of the symptoms of depression, such as insomnia, poor appetite, lethargy, etc., may also be a result of your illness. One way to decipher depressive symptoms from those related to your illness is to determine whether you are also experiencing emotional symptoms alongside the more physical ones. These symptoms include:
    • Extreme sadness or low mood
    • Insomnia
    • Poor appetite
    • Feelings of guilt
    • Suicidal thoughts
    • Low self-esteem
    • Lack or feelings of pleasure or joy
    • Hopelessness
    • An inability to process information quickly.
  3. Be aware of the risk factors for depression. Some factors and situations can increase your risk of developing depression, including:
    • Excessive financial constraint
    • Lack of social support and isolation
    • Pessimism and history of mental illness
    • Excessive dependency on another person or persons
    • Lack of independence
    • Persistent and ongoing deterioration in health and functioning
    • Ongoing chronic pain associated with the chronic illness
  4. Get help. If you find that you are experiencing some or all of the symptoms listed in the previous steps, you should talk to a professional therapist or doctor who can get you the help that you need.
    • If you are not experiencing these symptoms, but are afraid you might become depressed, you should also talk to a professional who work with you to develop effective coping strategies.
    • If at any time you begin to have thoughts of harming yourself, have difficulties eating or caring for yourself because of feelings of depression, engage in suicidal thinking, or have concerns that you are depressed, get professional help immediately. Safety is always the first priority.

Tips

  • Chronic illness is painful and scary, and although no one would choose to be ill, chronic illness can bring about deep and lasting attitudes of change and strength to you and your life.

Warnings

  • If you think you are experiencing depression or are having suicidal thoughts, you must talk to a professional immediately.
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