How to Tell Your Parents You Intend to Move Out when You Turn 18

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25-09-2016, 08:40
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You may be determined to move out of the house the second you turn 18, but you might have overprotective parents. It may takes a lot to ensure your parents are convinced you'll survive leaving the family home. If you need help explaining your intention to leave home to your parents, this article may help.

Preparing

  1. Start mentioning the idea of moving out when you haven't even reached 18 years old. Start a few months to a year before. Make sure to find the right time to tell them your intention. Don't tell them when they are in a bad mood. If you do, your parents will know that you want it badly, and they will have time to consider their decision (whether it be 'yes' or 'no'). Chances are, you don't want to let them know the day before, as they will likely disprove of the decision as it seems very rash. Start talking about what you want to do with your life, at the dinner table is probably the ideal place for conversation with your parents, and talk about your future. Simple stuff. However, never blurt it out. Construct your ideas fully, analyze your plan, ensure that is it possible to keep your thoughts straight, make your point without any rejections.
  2. Make sure you figure out a way to support yourself. In life, all parents wish that their children are stable in their lives. If your parents are the type of people who absolutely do not want you moving out of the house at 18, they may say that you need to have a stable job to support yourself in order to live separately. Take that moment as an opportunity to prove yourself rather than fearing failure.
  3. See if you can find a roommate. Sometimes, the only reason parents don't like their children living on their own at 18 is because the world isn't exactly the safest place. They might feel more at ease with the idea of you moving in with a friend. Make your roommate feel comfortable with your parents. In some cases, parents might believe the fact that trusting anyone is a threat. In that case, you need to make sure that your roommate is not a danger to you. They should be supportive, helpful, and someone you get along with. He or she must be first trusted by your parents and you.
  4. Prove that you're responsible. Taking out the trash, doing the dishes, doing laundry are all things you'll need to do once you're living on your own. Prove to your parents that you can handle these things without their help or them telling you to do chores. Even cooking dinner for the family can sometimes prove you'll be able to sustain yourself well. You will probably want to get a job. Showing your parents that you can keep a job will comfort them.
  5. If applicable, remind your parents how well you support yourself and your family. At 18, you may be married with a child and a job. If you want to talk to your parents about moving out, it can't hurt to point out to them how responsible you already are.
  6. Show them that you will always care about them. Some parents may feel that when you move out it means that they failed you. And remember, be as gentle as you can. As parents only desire to be remembered and loved by their own children who they have tried to help and support their whole life. If they aren't supportive, don't flip out. They are just nervous. If you make threats, and then leave, they will worry about you to death.
    • Understand that your parents love you no matter what they say, although they might show anger or shock at the the beginning.
    • Be close to them, no matter how they shouted or showed massive anger to you. We all know how a parent deals with the truth of losing their kid. Show that you are grateful for what they've gave you. Parents love when their kids show gratitude.
    • Handle situations with strength and responsibility. Sometimes some parents tend to test your emotional and physical balance regarding taking important decisions. People who pass in this immediately gain their parent's confidence as their parents will feel that nothing wrong could happen. However, if you fail on handling tough situations, parents may realize that you are still a kid who cannot be let out flying on its own.

Seriously Discussing the Topic

  1. Sit down with your parents and ask them about the idea of you moving out. Do this around the age of 17; talking much earlier may cause your parents to think that you are bluffing or just joking. Explain to them why you want to move out at a young age (even though you may not consider 18 to be too young to move out, your parents might) and tell them about your job and your ability to do chores on your own. If you've found a room-mate, tell them about it.
    • Make them believe that you are capable for making life yourself independently.
  2. Don't panic if your parents immediately say no. Calmly ask them why they don't like the idea. Calmly because it shows them that you are mature enough to control your emotions. And also in that way you will get to know that where exactly you are going wrong. Remember, in many places you are adult at 18 and you dont need your parent's permission to live alone.
  3. Explain to your parents that you are not a little kid any more, if the last step does not work. # Don't push it. If your parents are still against the idea, wait about a month or two and talk with them again. Waiting can be hard, but this will also show your parents that you know how to be patient. Wait for the opportunity to rise, because after all they have seen the world more than you.

Keeping Your Parents Involved

  1. Be happy that your parents are supporting your decision, if they did. Make sure to be very open about what you plan on doing. They are your parents after all, they should know everything.
  2. Talk to them about where you're going to live, your job, and anything that they may want to know about. Be completely honest with them; they will believe you can be trusted enough to move out and you don't want to lose that trust.
  3. Give your parents a key to your house, if they are very sad that you are leaving. (Tell them that it's for emergency only, as they don't need to be breathing down your neck!) Tell them you'll call and visit regularly. Do your best to give them assurance that even though you're moving out, you're still their kid and you love them. A child moving out of the parents' home can be one of the most difficult situations that a parent can go through.
  4. Ask your parents to help moving your things. This will instantly make your parents feel connected, yes their child is leaving but they may feel they still can get involved.
  5. Make your time in the busy schedule for your parents. Connect with them frequently via Skype, calls or the best of all, planning dinner!

Tips

  • Try to avoid moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Your parents will automatically assume that once you guys are broken up, you'll have nowhere to go and that's not good.
  • Don't start yelling and getting mad if your parents don't let you leave. This will only show immaturity. Make sure you stay calm and act like the adult you are.
  • See if your parents are open to financial help! Moving out on your own, no matter what age or salary you're earning, can be a little difficult. Don't be afraid to ask for help! That shows a level of maturity as well.
  • Show your parents a good plan of what you are thinking of when you do move out. This will show that you do have a good idea of what you want to achieve. Otherwise your parents may suspect you want to leave because say a friend is also leaving their house.
  • Visit your parents often, to assure them that you still want them in your life (if your departure has had a negative effect on your relationship).
  • It is easier said than done; moving out requires a lot of preparation and responsibilities. Make sure you have what it takes before you do. Try speaking with your parents about it so they can also help you because they more likely know and have more first hand experience with the world than you.

Warnings

  • Your parents might be very emotional about you graduating and leaving so soon. Make sure you know what you are getting yourself into.
  • Talk to them face to face and explain to them that you're responsible and can handle yourself and pay rent.
  • Make sure you are stable and able to pay rent because once you move out, your parents are not responsible for you anymore. Remember they love you.
  • Sometimes parents can get a little crazy or caught off guard when you tell them that you want to move out so early. That's why it's crucial to hint at the idea at least a year or two before you want to talk to them about it.
  • They might disagree at the beginning but through the time they will get used to the idea that their son/daughter is grown up.
  • Give them reasons why it may be a good idea for you to move out.
  • Remember, even though you're an adult now, you should still show respect when communicating with your parents. You may feel that your parents are over protective but protecting you has been their job since the day you were born. If you are from a close family then you will know that they only want what is best for you.
  • Make sure you have your communication available at all times when needed. It's not easy leaving home especially when you are really very close too family relations, but there comes a time when you need too take that step and make your own mark, and make your own way in the world, its not like you wont see your relations again they will visit you, and keep in touch with you.
  • Do not randomly tell your parents you're leaving as they may not respect your idea.
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