How to Mentor Teens

Опубликовал Admin
19-10-2016, 03:40
632
0
Being a teenager can be difficult. Anyone who has ever lived may tell you how they have been conflicted or challenged by life in one way or another, especially as a teenager. This is why it is so very important that teenagers have access to someone (a mentor) who can help them find a way to deal with those challenges. We so often read the newspapers and/or watch television only to see the result of bad decisions made by people, whether it be out of anger or improper guidance or another factor. This article is created to help those who would have an opportunity to become a mentor to those teens who may need guidance.

Steps

  1. Be clear about your intentions. Ask yourself why you would like to fill that particular role as a "mentor" to young people. Also you should ask yourself if you can commit to this for the long term. (Do you have the energy/passion and free time?) Remember that to be a mentor there has to be trust and there can be no trust without a sort of relationship between the "mentor" and the teenager and that takes time to build.
  2. Ensure that the meeting with the teen is in a neutral place away from the teen's usual environment (unless the teen requests to meet somewhere of their choosing). This way you get to control the type of atmosphere that the teen will be exposed to. This is very important as teenagers often adapt to the atmosphere of a place more easily than an adult would. A place with open space that's quiet is great as it promotes relaxation (encouraging the teen to talk more freely).
  3. When engaging the teen it helps to come across as being energetic and interested. Ask the teen how he/she is doing/feeling and inquire about what has been happening in their lives. The goal is to get them talking without their psychological "protective walls" in place.
  4. Listen more than you talk. Pay close attention to key words that they might use in their sentences that would indicate strong feelings or intent. Never interrupt them while they are talking, let them say all that they wanted to say before commenting or asking questions.
  5. Be mindful of your facial expression and body posture. If you seem distracted or uncomfortable, they will notice and negative feelings/thoughts will cause them to think that you do not really want to be there.
  6. Provide appropriate feedback. After you are satisfied that the teen has expressed his/herself fully, think about the key words and facts that were mentioned. Ask the teen what he/she's desired outcome would be in their current predicament. (how do they want their situation to end). Focus on what the teen really wants to talk about. Try to relate to those points and use your experience to guide the teen in a safe direction towards their desired goal.
  7. Identify the root cause. Some issues will be easy for most adult to relate to and offer good positive advice like how to choose a good career or relationship problems, etc. However, there might be something far worse happening in the teen's life. These are issues like abuse, drug/alcohol addiction, suicide thoughts etc.
  8. Know what is best. In cases such as those mentioned above, this article strongly suggests that the reader (mentor) encourage professional help. The best things for a "mentor" to do in these situations are to listen and show the teen that you (the mentor) can be trusted with the information that is shared. Pay close attention to detail in the conversations as it might be of help later on. Try to guide the teen into deciding to seek professional help and pledge your support (if possible) for the duration of those sessions.
  9. Practice caution. Be careful not to get too involved in the situation. There is a fine line between offering advice and telling someone what to do. As a "mentor" you cannot be the "judge". Most of the time it is not as simple as right or wrong. This article encourages the "mentor" to engage in conversation in an attempt to fist clarify and simplify the problem/challenge and then assist the teen in helping them to find the right answer themselves while bestowing trust and encouragement trust of the teen's ability to reach the desired outcome.
  10. Offer positive encouragement. When the conversation is at an end and the time has come to go separate ways, try encouraging them by stating how wonderful it was to be in their conversation and let them know that you believe in them, trust them to make positive choices in their own life and remind them of the strong good person that you see in them. This will give them the motivation they need to start positive change in their life.

Tips

  • Always be positive and supportive.
  • Try not to be distracted by anything or anyone while engaging with the teen. Switch your cellphone to silent and encourage the teen to do the same.
  • Keep track of your meetings so that you do not have conflicting dates. Try not to be in a situation where you have to choose between a session with the teen and another meeting/activity.
  • Remind teens that there is always enough time to make the right choice and to do the right thing.
  • Take breaks! If you burn yourself out, you won't be of much use to the teens that look to you for guidance. Schedule meeting times so that you have off days in between.
  • If you are not feeling well or you are ill, tell the teen that at the start of the talk when you meet and assure them that "You feel better than you look" and then continue the conversation. If, however, you do not feel up to meeting with them it is better to reschedule.

Warnings

  • Sometimes being a "mentor" to teens will not be easy and may influence you as well. Take time to talk to someone, whether it be a friend or spouse. Be careful, though, not to discuss the issues that you discuss with your teens as this would be breaking their trust. Instead try to talk about how the sessions sometimes make you feel.
Теги:
Information
Users of Guests are not allowed to comment this publication.