How to Make Decisions when You Have Depression

Опубликовал Admin
5-07-2021, 12:40
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Indecisiveness is a symptom of depression. When you are depressed, you may find that you cannot make a decision, or as soon as you make a decision, you second guess yourself. Making decisions can be a source of major stress if you are in a bad episode of depression. To make decisions while you are depressed, try to make decisions in smaller chunks, eliminate unnecessary decisions, remind yourself that most decisions aren’t that important, and ask for help if you need it.

Using a Decision-Making Process

  1. Identify the problem. Before you make a decision, it is important to have a really good understanding of what your problem is. Even if it is a small problem, such as choosing what to wear for work, taking the time to say the problem out loud or to write it down can help.
    • For example, you might say or write, “My problem is that I don’t know what to wear to work tomorrow.”
    • Or, you might say or write, “I don’t know what I am going to do about my credit card bill this month.”
  2. List possible solutions. After you have defined the problem for yourself, you can start to identify solutions to the problem. There might be lots of different options to choose from, or just a few. Either way, list your options and review them.
    • For example, if you are trying to choose what to wear, then you might say or write, “My options are black pants and a sweater, a skirt and blouse, or a work dress with a cardigan.”
    • If you are concerned about how to pay your credit card bill this month, then you might say or write, “I can either ask to borrow money from my parents, call the credit card company and tell them I can’t afford the bill this month, or pay it late and accept the late fee.”
  3. Choose the best solution. Next, it is important to evaluate your options so that you can choose the best one. Look at your options and weigh them against each other before you decide.
    • For example, if you are having a hard time choosing what to wear, then you might consider things like comfort and appropriateness for what you will be doing.
    • If you are trying to decide what to do about your credit card bill, then you might consider which option will result in the best result. For example, will you be better off if you call the credit card company and ask to pay late or if you just pay late and deal with the late fee later?
  4. Put your plan into action. After you weigh your options and choose the best option for you, put your plan into action. Do what you have decided is best for your situation. After you follow through on your plan, reflect on the outcome and consider if it turned out how you had hoped. If not, then use this information to help you the next time you have to make a similar decision.

Simplifying Your Decisions

  1. Break the decision down into smaller chunks. If you are trying to make a large decision, like about buying a house, break that decision down into smaller decisions. Looking at a huge decision as one massive “yes or no” question can be crippling and lead to anxiety and undue stress. Instead, break down the decision into smaller decisions.
    • For example, if you want to buy a house, start with making small decisions each day. You may use one day to choose a real estate agent, or one day to determine your financial situation and price range. Another day can be devoted to which one you would like to live in.
    • Focus only on the one decision you have to do today. Don’t think about future decisions. Leave those for other days.
  2. Make the decision by chance. For some decisions, you may want to leave it up to chance. You can flip a coin, put the decisions on a slip of paper in a cup, or put one decision in each hand and mix it up. This takes the stress off of you and lets you make a decision without having to actually decide.
    • This can be used for small decisions, such as what to wear, what to eat, or even if you want to buy groceries today or not.
    • Ask yourself some questions before deciding to use a coin flip to help you make a decision, such as: Could this choice affect my financial situation? Could this choice endanger me or someone else? Does this decision affect changes in the lives of my family or children? Does this choice concern my long-term future? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then a coin flip may not be the best way to make the decision.
    • Flipping a coin or randomly drawing a decision out of a cup can help you figure out what you wanted the decision to be if you feel a sense of disappointment because you didn’t get the other choice.
  3. Develop a list of go-to decisions. You can make the decision-making process easier for yourself by setting up a list of go-to decisions. These decisions have been predetermined so you already know what to choose when you run into the situation.
    • For example, if you go to dinner or lunch with friends or family, you will let them choose where to go. You will always get the chicken dish when you are there. You may also decide that you will suggest going to a movie when you go out with friends and family, or that you will choose paper bags if asked at the grocery store.
    • These little decision cheats can help you avoid added stress and make decisions when you need to.
  4. Establish a routine. Sometimes, the stress of your decision-making comes from making decisions about what to do every day. To help eliminate these decisions, set up a routine that you follow every day. This takes the guess work out of what you are going to do and instead you know what you need to do without making a decision.
    • Your schedule should include what time you want to get up and go to bed, when you are going to eat, when you are going to work, and when you are going to do other activities, like cleaning or watching television.
    • You may also come up with a menu for yourself. This helps eliminate the stress of choosing what to eat. You may eat oatmeal or eggs every morning and salads and leftovers for lunch. Two nights each week you may have chicken, fish two nights, beef one night, and you’ll order take out the final night.
  5. Eliminate unnecessary decisions. You can lessen the amount of decisions you have to make by eliminating unnecessary decisions from your life. Simplify by doing some things the same way each day or reminding yourself that some decisions aren’t a right and wrong situation.
    • For example, you can eat the same breakfast every morning or always go walking after work. You can set up a weekly dinner with your best friend at the same restaurant.
    • Remind yourself that whatever food you eat, activity you choose, or clothes you wear are not right or wrong. If you choose one thing, it’s not better or worse than the other choices.

Changing Your Mindset

  1. Realize that some decisions don’t matter. Every decision seems difficult when you have depression. However, you should remind yourself that though they feel impossible to make, small decisions probably don’t matter. Reminding yourself about this can help you just choose one, either purposefully or randomly.
    • For example, you may not be able to make a decision about whether you should watch television, clean, cook, or go for a walk. None of these decisions are more important or pressing than the other. To help make a decision, remember that none of these decisions are wrong, and then just choose one.
  2. Try to work through the decision logically. Depression makes you feel emotional and sometimes may even impede your ability to think logically. When you have to make a decision, try to work through the decision logically. Think of the most logical outcomes and reasons for making a choice, even if you feel like making the emotional choice.
    • For example, if you are buying a house, ask yourself what is the most logical decision. Perhaps you choose a cheaper house so you have some extra income, or maybe you choose the house closest to your job. Try to come up with logical reasons for each decision so you can make a good decision despite your depression.
    • You may find doing a pro/con list is helpful to come to the most logical decision. Or you can use a flow chart or decision tree if that makes more sense to you. For example, you can start by writing the problem down, then draw lines extending to your options along with lines extending from each option to show the potential benefits and drawbacks.
    • You also may have to do outside research to obtain more information.
  3. Accept your decision once you have made it. When you have depression, you may find that you don’t trust the decisions you make. After you have made a decision, you may second guess and question yourself. Try to avoid this. Once you have made the best decision of your ability, either through logical reasoning or with the help of others, tell yourself you made a good decision and stick with it.
    • Move forward with the decision. Don’t come up with reasons your decision is a bad one or research problems with your decisions. Focus on the decision you have made, move forward, and make the best out of that decision.
  4. Remind yourself that you make the decisions. Depression can feel like it runs your life. Even though you may feel like depression is causing you not to make decisions, remember that you can make decisions despite your depression. It may not be easy and it may take effort, but you can make a conscious effort to make a decision.
    • Try telling yourself, “My depression doesn’t control my decisions. I control my decisions. I choose to make a decision.”
    • For example, if you don’t know what to eat for dinner, tell yourself, “Depression won’t keep me from making a decision about dinner. I will make chicken tonight.”
  5. Understand that your decision making skills may depend on your mood. Depression leads you to various moods or mindsets. You may have better days and worse days. Because of this, you may find it easier to make some decisions at certain times. When you are not in a critical low of your depression, you may be able to make basic daily decisions. However, during a critical low, any decision may be too much.
    • You should consider putting off major decisions, such as job changes and major purchases, until your depression has improved. Try not to make any major life decisions when in a critical low.

Seeking Help

  1. Ask for help in making decisions. Sometimes, you may not trust yourself to make decisions when you have depression. You may second guess yourself or have anxiety that you are making the wrong decision. To help with this, have someone help you make decisions.
    • Choose one or two people you trust completely and who know you well. These people can help you make the decision by giving you their opinions about what they honestly think and what they think will be the best choice for you.
  2. Let someone else make the decision. If you are so depressed that you cannot make a decision, let someone else make the decision for you. During bad times of depression, this may be the only way you can get a decision made because you are incapable of making a decision for yourself.
    • Make sure you trust the person you are letting make the decision. It should be a partner, child, or trusted family member or friend.
    • You may allow a person to make simple decisions for you, like what you want for dinner or if you should go out, or even major decisions, like should you get therapy or choose a medication.
  3. Undergo cognitive behavioral therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you figure out how to make decisions. Cognitive behavioral therapy is a technique used to help you replace negative thought patterns with more positive ones. When CBT is used for decision-making, you are taught how to replace those feelings of indecision or helplessness with a proactive way to make a decision.
    • For example, during CBT you may learn how to make a pro/con list or how to look at the decision from multiple sides.
    • CBT may also help you learn how to replace emotionally-driven decision making with more balanced decision making. CBT can help you learn how to avoid jumping to conclusions.
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