How to Cope with a Long Distance Relationship in the Military

Опубликовал Admin
30-10-2016, 08:36
Maintaining a relationship when your partner is deployed comes with all kinds of stresses and challenges. The answers for coping are different for everyone, but some steps can be helpful as you tackle a new reality. This is a how-to on being mentally capable in dealing with the stresses and sadness of being so far from someone you love who could be in danger, whether facing combat or not.


  1. See the situation for what it is. Your partner or spouse joins the military and has to be stationed far away from the home you built together or wish to keep regardless of military affiliation and you know you will miss him or her. What helps is looking at the bigger picture. So often we become enveloped in sadness of the news or the way we'll feel lonely that looking at the bigger picture doesn't seem like an option, you can have a relative or third party friend help you see the bigger picture.
  2. Focus on yourself for a while. You within yourself are your own priority. You are still whole and your loved one is doing this for the betterment of the family and/or person himself/herself. All you can do at this point is surround yourself with love and positive encouragement and keep living your life as you would any other day just know that your main focus will have to be put on yourself and what you do in life.
  3. Know what to expect. You've never been the kind of person to sit around and wait so what you can do is quite simple, plan ahead and be aware of all the possibilities but don't become overwhelmed by them. Keep the bigger picture in mind.
  4. Make the commitment. If you know where you stand with your loved one, make sure to keep things as smooth and normal and calm as possible. This will decrease the stress of what to do and how to treat the relationship. Have a conversation before your partner leaves and decide how you will keep good contact and what to do in certain situations that you know may come up.
  5. Be in the moment and don't worry. Now that your loved one is off (or maybe has been gone for awhile and your seeking additional advice) your job is to keep connecting with the people around you, don't become completely mentally isolated. Make new friends and share your story, keep getting out in the world and go on a date with just yourself for a change.
  6. Know that if your love and commitment is strong and mutual, then there is nothing to worry about. Allow yourself to feel empowered by this bold lifestyle and know that everything IS and will be okay. Celebrate anniversaries on the phone and send letters and whatever your heart desires just keep the bigger picture in mind as always.
  7. Have patience. Days will go on and you might feel unhappy feelings at times. That happens and there are no judgements so be patient with yourself and express how you feel to loved ones or friends and definitely the one closest to your heart but farthest from your home.


  • This is a vulnerable act; everyone experiences this kind of separation a little differently. Take advice from others with a grain of salt, and do what you feel is right for your relationship.
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