How to Cope with a Colleague's Active Hostility

Steps

1. DO NOT REACT ANGRILY. It is the worst possible reaction under the circumstances. It will only make people more inclined to believe the rumours being circulated against you.

   • If you MUST have a cry, go into the bathroom, have a silent cry, wash your face and return to your workspace. Never let anyone see your tears. It will be interpreted immediately as a sign of weakness.
2. Think about why this person is gossiping about you. In every instance, the real reason is that he or she feels threatened and insecure or suffers from an inferiority complex in your presence, or because of your proficiency, abilities, and personality.
3. Work out old grudges with the gossip-monger. Make a sincere effort to mend fences. If this works, the matter ends here. However, where issues of insecurity are involved, the person might well continue saying hurtful and untrue things about you.

   • If the gossip does continue, meet the colleagues who have been/still are on the receiving end of the rumours. Tell them that you are aware that they might have been misinformed about you. Ask for their patience and co-operation and apologize for the unpleasantness that has taken place.
4. Approach your boss. Tell him or her about what has happened. Point out that such gossip is counterproductive, that it is systematic and unjustified character assassination, is damaging and demeaning to you and is distracting you from work. Politely point out that defamation of character and harassment has legal ramifications.
5. Ask that the gossip-monger be dealt with firmly. The Company will be bound to act on your complaint.
6. There will follow a period of days, weeks or even months when people who listened, or are still listening, to the gossip against you will avoid you completely. Just be patient. This is a natural facet of corporate behaviour and will wear itself out in time.
7. During this difficult period, keep a low profile. Interact normally with everyone.
8. Pay attention to your attendance and be at your workplace at or before the start of working hours. Do not allow anyone the chance to criticize you for being late or taking too many days off work. This can and will be used against you by your enemies.
9. Don't let yourself slip into a depression. Continue to take care of yourself, continue to dress well and appear pleasantly presentable at all times.
10. Pay attention to what you eat. Worry about a bad atmosphere at work can easily cause you to reach out for comfort foods and start piling on the pounds.
11. Wait patiently for results. This is extremely difficult to do, as it goes against one's natural urge to hit back. However, with your good name and reputation and an otherwise wonderful job at stake, there's no choice. In a short while, people will know that the rumour-monger has been dealt with firmly by your human resources department.
12. Meanwhile, ensure that your colleagues always see you at your best: cool, calm, smiling, helpful, efficient, humble, honest and sincere. It won't take long for people to form an excellent opinion of you, based on personal experience and dismiss the gossip.
13. Know that you've won the silent war as bosses and colleagues begin interacting with you normally after a short hiatus, and show you that they like and trust you.
14. Congratulate yourself. You've not only won an important battle. You've also acquired vital new skills : you've taught yourself how to stay calm and collected under extreme provocation, and how to use all the virtues listed above as powerful tools to your advantage. That is a huge achievement.