How to Be Sneaky

Lie well. Sneaking isn't just about moving quietly and not being seen. Equally important are the "social" sneaking skills - skills that will help you get what you want out of people and help you get out of trouble if you're caught sneaking around. Chief among these skills is your ability to tell quick, convincing lies. You need to be able to provide a logical, benign explanation for your behavior at all times.

• One way to become a good liar is to take an acting class or to sign up for a theater production. Actors are, in a sense, professional liars - good actors use their faces, voices, and bodies to weave a convincing story.

Hide your true emotions. A simple poker face can get you surprisingly far! When you're sneaky, it's essential that you appear serious about whatever lie you're crafting, even if it's a wild one! "Sell" your lies - your voice, face, and body should all support the idea that what you're saying is the truth. This doesn't mean merely keeping a stern expression at all times - to support your lie, it might be necessary to practice appearing jubilant, sad, preoccupied, and as many other emotions if you can!

• There's a reason it's called a "poker face" - to help develop stone-cold control over your facial expression, get together with friends to play a little Texas Hold'Em or another poker variation, most of which encourage players to hide their emotions.

Craft an excuse beforehand. When sneaking, you're bound to get eventually caught - how you handle this situation can make the difference between whether you can keep sneaking or whether you're laughed out of the house. Make up an excuse for why you're sneaking beforehand - one that's logical for the place you're sneaking in. For example, if you're caught sneaking around upstairs while there's a party going on downstairs, say you're looking for the bathroom.

• If you're sneaking around people who don't know you, you can pre-plan your excuse to the extent of having a fake name and/or backstory. Support your story with your choice of wardrobe and demeanor - if you're pretending to be a religious missionary, for instance, you might want to wear clean slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a tie (if you're male) and to carry religious literature with you.

Be charming. Naturally likable people have an easier time getting what they want - if you're extra-charming, you'll have the option of talking your way past people you'd otherwise have to slip by unseen. Keep a friendly, interested demeanor. Look at people in the eyes. Joke with them - about the drudgery of your jobs, if you're looking to build a quick rapport. Pretend to support their opinions. Make them like you - remember, you won't have to be their friend after you've snuck your way past them, so use every opportunity at your disposal.

• Don't be afraid to flirt! If you think you've got this person's "attention," seize the opportunity! A few choice words from an attractive female can, for instance, convince a bouncer to open the doors to an already-crowded nightclub.

Use your appearance as social leverage. People are shallow - sadly, often, people will make a judgment about you based on how you look. When you're sneaky, use this to your advantage! You might want to dress in starched slacks and a polo to appear as clean-cut and non-threatening as possible so people will overlook you. Conversely, you might want to shave your head, wear a nose ring and a dirty leather jacket if you want to look intimidating. Use common sense - ask yourself, "what sort of person will have the best shot of getting past obstacles in this situation?"

• If you're really brave, you can even create a disguise and pretend to be someone you're not - keep in mind that impersonating a police officer, etc. is a serious crime!

Use the element of surprise. When you want to reveal the fruits of your sneakiness to someone, make sure they don't see it coming for maximum impact. Make your behavior and environment appear as normal as possible until the last second. For instance, if you're planning a surprise birthday party at someone's house, keep the house exactly as it was before, except for the room where the guests are hiding. As you lure the birthday boy to the designated room, use the poker face you've practiced to appear as nonchalant as possible.

• In the example scenario, be sure to keep up your façade until after he's been surprised! If you give into giggles even a few seconds too soon, you could give the surprise away.

Observe your surroundings and the people around you. A truly stealthy individual is aware of his or her surroundings. S/he listens and looks for obstacles, whether they're animate ( for instance, a person or dog) or inanimate (for instance, a chain-link fence.) When you're sneaky, keep your eyes peeled and your ears listening!

• If you have a chance, study the location you're going to sneak around in and the people you'll encounter. Take notes. Even consider sketching simple maps - these will help you plan a strategy for sneaking around this place and getting around these people.
• Look for patterns in peoples' behavior. For example, if you see that your friend gets home from work at 6 PM every day, you'll know to have your prank set up before then.

Eavesdrop on important conversations. You can learn information you're not meant to learn if you look for opportunities to "overhear" private conversations. If you're at a friend's place with a couple of buddies, and you think your friends are planning a prank on you, quietly sneak up to the door when they're talking in another room, then listen at the keyhole or silently hold a cup to the door to listen in.

• If someone's talking on a phone on a land line, try picking up another phone on the same line to overhear easily their conversation from another part of the house. Just be sure to do it very, very quietly - don't breathe into the receiver.

Stay out of observers' lines of sight. The most essential aspect of sneaking is not to be seen doing something bad! Whether you're stealing fries from a friend's lunch or sneaking out past curfew, you'll want not to be seen. Always keep something between you and other people who might see you. If you need to, crouch or contort yourself to conceal yourself behind counters, trees, skinny pieces of wall, or any other environmental features you can use to block other peoples' lines of sight.

• Avoid large, open areas. You can't see in every direction at once, so in these areas it's hard to keep track of other people and, thus, easier to get spotted. Stay near walls when possible - you know you can't be seen through the wall, so you can focus your attention on the angles from which you're more likely to be spotted.
• If you can, learn a building's floor plan before hand. Even a basic understanding of where most of the rooms, windows, and doors are located can help you make good choices about which areas to avoid and where to hide if the need arises.

Minimize the sound you make while moving. People can hear you even if they can't see you, so one of your first concerns while sneaking around the house should be to make as little noise as possible. Use as many of the following techniques as possible to dampen your audio profile and decrease the chances people will hear you coming from miles away!

• Walk with delicate steps. Keep your knees slightly bent as you shift your weight slowly from one foot to the next. Use a gentle heel-toe step.
• Wear quiet clothing. Don't wear clothes that make noise when they're ruffled or when you move in them. Soft fabrics are best - sweatpants and many types of athletic wear work well.
• Wear soft footwear. If you must use shoes, wear a pair with soft soles that won't squeak on wet surfaces. Slippers are better. Bare socks are better still!
• Don't touch noisy surfaces. Most carpets are quieter than hardwood floors, which can squeak and amplify the sound of your footsteps. Also, avoid bumping into any glass or metal or stepping on twigs if you're outdoors.
• If possible, make significant movements only when there's another noise to cover it up (for instance, when an airplane flies overhead).

Be inconspicuous in crowds. If you're going to be sneaky somewhere where there are already dozens of people, you're bound to be seen and heard. Instead of avoiding detection, you should instead focus on creating no memorable impression on the people who see you. Dress and act inconspicuously for the situation. Appear friendly and open, but don't talk to anyone you don't have to - the fewer people who remember you, the better.

• When trying to avoid conversation, try to look like you have something to do. Walk with purpose - like you're on your way to something important and can't be bothered to talk.

Have good sleight of hand. When being sneaky, you'll often need to grab or snatch something from someone without being noticed. Good sleight of hand practitioners have steady, nimble, silent hands. Practice simple magic tricks to improve basic techniques such as palming which will help you steal away with your new prize.

Use misdirection. Learn to create distractions to divert the attention of people it would otherwise be difficult or impossible to sneak by. If you're trying to sneak out of your house after your curfew and your dad's watching TV in the living room with a great view of your only exit, you should devise a reason to make him leave his post! For instance, knock over a shovel in his workshop, making as much noise as possible. Quickly run to a hiding spot (hopefully one you scouted out beforehand), and then wait for him to investigate the noise. When he does, quickly slip out the door!

• Pickpockets use misdirection to steal wallets - you can use the same principle to sneakily mess with your friends! Keep your friend's attention focused on one thing - a funny video or a card trick, for example - while you stretch one hand out of their line of sight to snatch what you want.

Improve your strength and flexibility. Expert sneakers can benefit from a good workout - a good physical condition can make a huge difference when trying to lift yourself over a fence and out of sight. Similarly, a flexible body can squeeze into tiny hiding places much more easily than an ungainly, inflexible one. There's even a benefit in improving your cardio stamina - if you're caught and you need to dash, that is!

• If you haven't already, start a well-balanced exercise routine to start on the path to personal fitness.

Practice basic sneaking skills. When you're just beginning, try to be sneaky in a small, barely-noticeable way. If you're in a small space, for instance, if you're riding in a car, you can concentrate on improving your sneakiness without having to take your surroundings into account.

• Try this sneaking exercise: While sitting in the passenger seat, see if there are any coins in the cup holder. Slowly but surely, (over the course of the car ride) take the coins out one at a time. Be sure the driver is not watching you, and try not to make any noise. Later, try to place all the coins back in the cup holder. This exercise will improve your hand steadiness, your ability to move silently, and your ability to read the body language of people you're sneaking on!

Expand your sneaking practice. When you're confident being sneaky in small, controlled environments, it's time to practice sneaking in larger, more active environments. Every additional person in your surroundings is a variable you'll have to account for - being able to account for other peoples' position and line of vision even when you aren't looking at them using clues like the sound of footsteps, etc. is a vital sneaking skill.

• Try this exercise: at a social event, watch someone who has a drink out of the corner of your eye. Wait until their back is turned, and then move the drink to another room. After you have moved the drink, go back and watch them as they try to remember where they put it. Make sure you keep a straight face - don't give away that you had something to do with it. This exercise improves your ability to keep inconspicuous in crowded areas as well as your ability to control your emotions in the face of someone you've duped.
• For a good test of your ability to move silently, stay awake late at night and try to move around the house silently when everyone's asleep - pick a point in your house to sneak to, then sneak back to your room, going through as many rooms as possible. In the stillness of the night, you'll be able to hear even smallest movements.

Keep your social abilities sharp. You want to be able to craft lies, excuses, and personal information on the fly to talk your way past troublesome folks who might interfere with your sneaking mission. Practice your ability to lie and charm people - often, it's just as important as your ability to move without being seen or heard.

• Some people have a visceral negative reaction when they tell a lie that is detectable by others. To start getting over this, begin by telling inconsequential, harmless lies. When someone asks for the time, tell them it's one minute later than it is. You'll eventually work through your reluctance and, if you gradually scale up your lies, soon you'll be able to tell convincingly "real," consequential lies.
• If you're not socially squeamish, try talking your way into a members-only gym or country club as a good test of your social sneaking abilities. Craft a good excuse beforehand - maybe you left your wallet in the locker room, or maybe your friends are inside waiting for you but they can't let you in because they're in the pool away from their phones!