How to Build Bridges With a Co Worker You Don't Like

Опубликовал Admin
13-11-2016, 05:24
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Working in a corporate world means you have to interact with many types of personalities and characters. Sometimes you do have unavoidable personality conflicts with a person you have to work with. It is not your choice to be in the same team or same company so the best thing you can do is stay neutral and stay professional in your relationship. However, if you have good intentions to build bridges with a co-worker that you are not really keen on, it will be helpful to plan ahead so that the situation doesn't break down.

Steps

  1. Be civil to your coworker and never raise your voice tone despite his/ her unlikeable behavior and attitude. This can be hard since some people may try to get your goat. Remember to breathe slowly, and always remember to excuse yourself from the conversation, or the room if needed. Simply take a breath and say in your calmest coolest voice, "If you will excuse me, I just need a moment (away/outside/in the hall) to myself."
  2. In any job, you should be allotted the chance to remove yourself from a possibly hostile situation. If the person refuses to let you defuse, hold it together, and say something along the lines of "I would really like to continue this in a more calm and efficient manner."
  3. When working together within an area with one another, make yourself available to show that you are diligent in your work. Ask questions like, "Is there anything that is top priority I can do/help/assist in?" or "What can I do to help you?" though painful a question it may be, it looks good for you and poor on their previous impression of you.
  4. Remember, we are all human, we are not perfect, no matter how much we would like to be. Instead of saying "<name> is so I can't stand it!" think of their negative attributes as things to build on. Think about how you can help them be stronger in what would be identified as their weak point. What skills can you bring to the table to counteract their destructive or complicated behavior?
  5. With this in mind, positively ask if you can help them with their weak area. If they have trouble cleaning, grab a mop- "It's equally meditative as it is more efficient to mop from side to side (as you know but not said, opposed to up and down)" Give a positive reason why someone would want to do it your way- it softens the blow to their (evident) ego, and does not sound as condescending.
  6. Pointing out what they do right is another way of building relationships with people. Regardless of your position, giving approval of someone else's work shows you are attentive to other people's strengths. It may not get a whole-hearted 'thanks!' or enthusiastic handshake, but you will show your co-worker that *you* have what it takes to be the better person.
  7. Keep an ear to the ground and listen for any information on the person you are butting heads with. Is there something personal going on that you may not know about otherwise? Are they having a rough day/week/month? Are they disgruntled about something having nothing to do with you and you (unfortunately) bear the brunt of their venting? (Let's face it, we've all been there.)
  8. --Do not eavesdrop on conversations or ask other co-workers about someone else's personal business. It will come off as snoopy, scheming, or downright rude. This will *NOT* get you anywhere. The best way to find out is asking the person of interest simple questions- "how are you?" "how was your day/weekend/drive to work?" The best way to get information is straight from the horse's mouth.
  9. Finally, this may be the craziest thing you might ever hear, but the best way to build a relationship with someone you don't like, is to go about it in a way as if it was someone you *did* like. Compliments, showing interest, and open body language are great starters. But the best way to build on others' impressions of you, are personal constructive responsibility and collectiveness in all situations.

Tips

  • Other ideas that may be helpful, but are not limited to:
    • Find out his/her birthday and then organize a small surprise party when the day comes.
    • Participate and donate in fund raising that he/she is organizing such as March of Dimes, Pink Ribbon, etc.
    • Participate and donate to the charity or organization his/her children is participating such as buying Girl Scout cookies from him/her.
    • Buy some product that he/she is selling as side-jobs such as multi-level marketing products from Avon, Sophie Martin's, Tupperware, purse-party, jewelry-party, etc.
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